Choosing a Surrogate: A Comprehensive Guide to Selecting the Right Surrogate Mother
Selection of a surrogate is one of the most essential steps and decisions intended parents need to make during the surrogacy journey. Selecting an ideal surrogate will guarantee a successful journey.
An experienced midwife or doula can provide invaluable insight into both physical and emotional challenges associated with pregnancy.
Should you pick a friend or relative as surrogate?
At first glance, using a friend or relative as your surrogate may seem like the easiest choice, but there are several key considerations you need to keep in mind before making your choice. Surrogacy can be an intimate and often emotional process for both surrogates and intended parents – finding someone you have a strong rapport with will allow for smooth gestation as well as helping navigate any emotional complexities during this journey.
Intended parents need to find a surrogate who is reliable, responsive, and understanding of her responsibilities as a surrogate. She should be willing to do all they can do ensure a safe pregnancy, delivery and postpartum adjustment experience – often through professional agencies that match you up with candidates that meet specific criteria.
When considering working with friends or relatives as surrogates, be prepared for the emotional and financial strain it will put on your relationship. Being able to separate friendship or family ties from legal obligations when acting as surrogate will be key. You also must manage expectations from both sides as you conduct yourself during this process.
Select a surrogate who has had previous pregnancy and birth experience to better understand both physical and emotional challenges that accompany this journey. Most agencies prefer surrogates with some level of medical training in obstetrics.
Psychologists and other professionals have observed that when selecting a surrogate, it is vital that she is driven by altruism rather than financial gain alone. Psychologists and professionals have noted that reliable surrogates tend to be those who care deeply about helping others and are willing to put aside personal goals for the sake of carrying a child; those motivated purely by financial gain may attempt to manipulate both pregnancy and custodial arrangements in their favor.
Age
Age is one of the primary considerations when selecting a surrogate mother, with many intended parents preferring younger surrogate mothers due to their energy, enthusiasm and motivation in carrying and delivering a baby for another woman on behalf of intended parents. They can also assist couples navigate emotional and financial hurdles associated with surrogacy. It is also vitally important that any gestational carrier have no medical issues that might impede pregnancy; such as hypertension or preeclampsia that could compromise the pregnancy.
New Life suggests that ideal conditions for surrogacy include being between 21-42 years of age with an ideal body mass index (BMI) between 19 to 33. A surrogate must maintain a healthy BMI during and after gestation to reduce risks related to complications during and postpartum, including small-for-gestational-age birth or preterm labor.
Contributions to this issue address multiple aspects of age construction through law, such as creating the other through law and using age as a site of demarcation between inside/outside. Although each contribution differs significantly in subject matter and methodology, they all share one thing in common: treating how law creates meaning around age.
Another key consideration in surrogacy selection should be their cultural context and familial relationships. A qualitative study concluded that high levels of family disapproval, rebukes, or interferences were significant deterrents for couples seeking surrogacy as an option; especially where family did not support this method. Furthermore, family culture can have a substantial effect on mental state of surrogates; in some instances these barriers have to be overcome to select suitable surrogates; thus taking these factors into account when selecting one should be carefully considered when making surrogates choices is essential to making wise choices when selecting surrogates.
Race
When selecting a surrogate, race should always be taken into consideration. Some cultures prohibit intended parents from choosing surrogates of different races – making finding an appropriate surrogate even harder. There are agencies which specialize in finding suitable surrogates for these intended parents of various races; their database allows potential surrogates to apply and once approved will then offer them to prospective couples through them.
Surrogacy is often an emotional journey for all involved; therefore, it's crucial that the surrogate have compassion and empathy towards the couple going through gestation, as well as providing assurance they can trust her with their child's wellbeing.
Surrogates should typically be in their primary childbearing years to maximize chances of a smooth delivery with no complications, and for her own body to recover quicker after giving birth.
As medical science has advanced over time, surrogacy has raised numerous ethical concerns. While these advances can be useful, they also present us with human, legal, and social concerns to consider carefully – such as why some women in developing countries may be forced to become surrogates for financial incentives – an exploitative practice viewed negatively by many ethicists.
As part of their success in surrogacy arrangements, surrogates must also be mentally healthy and in good physical condition. A surrogate's mental wellbeing has an immense bearing on pregnancy success; therefore, she should ideally be free of any mental conditions which might cause her to lose control during gestation; additionally she should have enough money in the bank account to support herself throughout gestation and not have second thoughts about agreeing or terminate the pregnancy at any point in time.
Other surrogate considerations
However, the majority of consumers still believe in traditional retail. Although prospective parents may have good reasons for selecting their friends or relatives as surrogates, it is essential that they also assess her motivation, support system, past and current health and social history, physical ability to carry a pregnancy to term, mental stability and outlook before making their selection. Parents looking for surrogates should ensure that the surrogate has never been treated for sexually transmitted infections such as herpes B or C, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia or HIV. A medical procedure known as "uterine mapping" may also help ensure their surrogate is capable of carrying a baby until its delivery date.
Families, friends, and significant others must all understand and support a surrogate's desire to become one, as well as her decision. Her psychological and emotional makeup must allow her to fully comprehend all limitations, results, and custodial ramifications associated with surrogacy agreements – especially since being motivated solely by compensation may lead to manipulating pregnancy outcomes and ultimate custody arrangements.
Surrogates must have a secure living situation with access to income that allows her to live her lifestyle while not needing to work during gestation. Intended parents must ensure that surrogacy arrangements do not attempt to coerce surrogates into being part of them, rather it should be made out of altruism and the desire to help couples or individuals fulfill their dream of having children.
Most surrogates are chosen through an established fertility agency's database, where intended parents select their surrogate of choice from among its roster of women who meet their preferences. Once selected, this woman is then offered the contract of her choosing, should she accept, she becomes part of this agency's program and the standard method by which surrogates are selected in most countries.
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